Back to Galilee

Last week, I spent six days in retreat, worship and contemplation of ways in which I can walk the journey of life as a pastor as a pilgrimage with good friends. Sixty of us gathered in Nashville to worship, reflect, exchange gifts of encouragement, and prepare to return to Galilee in anticipation of meeting Jesus in the daylight and dishes. After a rough journey home through delay and turbulence, I arrived home in a different state of mind and spirit.

During the week, Vicki asked me to tell her what was happening in Nashville, among the gathered pilgrims and falling leaves. I didn't have to think long. I told her that we all were learning the grace of walking in the Way of Jesus the Messiah as a pilgrimage rather than a solo journey - we did not have to do this alone. And I get the feeling pastors aren't the only ones who need to hear this gracious invitation to join a great cloud of witnesses as they seek God in the journey of life.

None of us returned with a ToDo list, or a 10-step process for turning things around. One of my friends voiced an invitation to treat their family members with a holy regard. On the flight home, the flight attendant reminded me that there "may not be a later". As I reunited with my family on All Hallows Eve, I savored the hugs we shared and listening to their stories of the week I had missed while in Nashville, as much as I enjoyed groping for words to tell about my adventure there.

And though I'll have more to say as I sift through the many memories of that week, I know for certain that I rediscovered a sense of my first love of God, and the people God loves, in the holy place we gathered in near Music Row and Vanderbilt University. Strangers who became companions in an instant of conversation or sitting quietly together in worship reminded me again and again of the irresistible love of God that drew and draws me to serve others in the name of Christ.

We reflected on the cycle of Grace and the cycle of Works, and the waxing and waning of our souls in both streams. I knew that my ability to trust God's love determines the direction of grace or works I pursue - my need to determine the outcome or the faith I experience simply and always to fall into love. To give into a stream of God's grace involves letting fears go as the tide washes over me and bears me to others. We talked often of fears and anxieties the crowd out our ability to fall into love.

And when I returned to the dishes? I discovered that the sense of grace waxing under a swelling moon returned with me. As I walked to church to gather around a table and talk of God's surprising and mysterious movement in our lives, Debbie Christie called me to tell me our nursery caregiver was unable to watch over the infants and toddlers. So I allowed the flow of grace to take me to watch over them.

I had baptized many of those little ones, but we had not played much together. And as we sang songs and danced in the chaotic flow of the nursery, I enjoyed the freedom they gave me to sit on the floor and enjoy learning about life. Vicki preached upstairs, but my return to the nursery seemed a fitting return to Galilee for me. I was looking for Jesus and found myself surrounded by toys and exuberant toddlers in the Kingdom of God.